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Cacophony -- Hear Here
As you've guessed from the... well, eclectic nature of the sounds collected here, I've got some unique ringtones on my iPhone. I found them all here and there on the internet, most of them are from the actual owners who've posted them in one form or another on the web. So, I'll share.
(These files are iPhone Ringtones, in .m4r format. They're AAC files, so you should be able to play and convert them in any app that supports AAC like Quicktime Player.)

BBC RINGTONES [6.2MB ZIP archive]
  • BBC Six O'Clock News

  • BBC One: Bikes

  • BBC One: Bollywood

  • BBC One: Football

  • BBC One: Hippos

  • BBC One: Kites

  • BBC One: Music Video

  • BBC One: Ringaroses

  • BBC One: Surfers

  • BBC One: Tango

  • BBC One: Windows

  • BBC Radio 1: Across the UK

  • BBC Radio 1: One Million Watts

  • BBC Radio 1: Weather

  • BBC Radio 1 bed


NBC RINGTONES [3.9MB ZIP archive]
  • All Things Considered 1983

  • All Things Considered 1995

  • Morning Edition Open, Interlude and Close

  • Stump the Chumps

  • Wait, Wait - Don't Tell Me!

  • Weekend Edition Saturday

  • Marketplace


WMAL RINGTONES [3MB ZIP archive]
Ten WMAL jingles from the 1990s

WRC RINGTONES [3MB ZIP archive]
WRC Washington news themes from 1980 to today

GENE'S RINGTONES [ 564KB ZIP archive]
  • Fog Horn

  • Hitchhiker's Guide

  • Jetsons Doorbell

  • Jetsons Phone

  • Metro Doors Opening Announcement

  • Really Old Phone


NPR RINGTONES [1.5MB ZIP archive]

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The President, First Lady, and Chief of Staff (Martin Sheen, Stockard Channing, John Spencer) from NBC's "The West Wing" do a little bit of damage to their credibility on this ill-advised selection from a 2001 NBC Christmas CD.

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Back when America Online first debuted in the UK -- yes, that's what they called it then -- a few patches were made to the software. These five files are the "You've Got Mail" voice for the UK AOL, the dulcet tones of the posh Joanna Lumley.

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Although I was serving as the interim publicist at WETA -- the public broadcaster in Washington, DC -- when this ditty debuted, I disavow any knowledge of it and take no responsibility whatsoever.

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This one is both interminably annoying and yet useful. It's a whopping fifteen minutes of looping, spangly stock music for the background of public television pledge breaks. Used for years on end by Maryland Public Television among others, it is likely to induce a bit of stupor and flashbacks of tote bags and mugs. You have been warned.

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Bet you don't remember either of these sitcoms on NBC -- especially "The Nutt House," a hotel-based comedy (barely) which was produced by Mel Brooks and starred his usual cast of characters including Harvey Korman and Cloris Leachman...

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One went on to television success, the other faded into obscurity. Here are the themes from the debut of two CBS sitcoms.

It's worth noting -- especially on the "Designing Women" theme -- how the first years of stereo television broadcasts were marked by hyper-exaggerated stereo separation; much as the first color broadcasts feature hyper-real primary colors. Listen to these with headphones.

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Yet another of NBC's attempts in the 1980s to create a viable news magazine format, this one was tagged with the unfortunate and lengthy name "Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow." The opening titles led the viewer on a path through history and into the waiting arms of Stone Phillips and Maria Schriver.

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In honor of the late, lamented, hilarious John Inman, a short sample of his wonderful character Mr. Humphries, courtesy of an obscure novelty record. This single actually debuted at #40 on the UK charts on November 1, 1975! It later peaked at 39.

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Last year I posted a series of ident music from BBC One [click here] only months before the Beeb changed their on-air look. The new look of BBC "one" eschews dancers, instead featuring disparate activities that culminate in a circle. Here are the soundtracks for the first batch of eight idents.

And finally, the last ever appearance of the BBC One dancers: careful, it's a 28mb file.

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A self-fulfilling title if ever there was one, "Three's A Crowd" was one of three sitcoms in the "Three's Company" universe. It was the short-lived "sequel" to the original series, which posited the question: "What happens when womanizing bachelor Jack Tripper decides to settle down?"
Unfortunately, audiences weren't interested in the answer to that one.
Here's the best thing about that series, the catchy theme tune.

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The BBC has what I consider to be the most beautiful idents in the world. BBC 1, the main channel, features dance and movement in all its forms on their network IDs, from tango to tap to tai chi. Each ident features dancers wearing BBC 1's signature red color, and all the idents use the same signature tune, arranged in the style appropriate to each dance. Here are five different arrangements of the BBC 1 tune used in their idents.

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A selection of NBC network promotional songs, from the late 80s and early 90s when networks still had annual slogans and big splashy graphics. Today it seems like every moment on broadcast television is too important to waste trying to build a brand or encourage viewer loyalty by promoting the network as a whole, and I miss these promotional exercises.
I've done my best to clean up these files from decrepit, scratchy, low-sampled mono to decently sampled stereo; but there is still plenty of noise and clipped audio to deal with and quality will vary from file to file. Sorry!

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Perhaps one of the most recognized public service campaigns of the last decade, "The More You Know" has been the cornerstone of NBC's PSA activities since January 1989. The campaign has featured more than 250 NBC stars. Learn more about The More You Know.
The NBC website includes video of current TMYK spots, the spots archived here are from the early years of the campaign. (Requires Quicktime. There are 128 files in this collection, so please don't be a bandwidth hog -- try watching a few each day rather than all at once. Thanks!)

Phase 3 (1989)
  1. Bill Cosby: Teacher Recruitment
  2. John Larroquette: Alcoholism
  3. Dawnn Lewis: Substance Abuse
  4. John Ratzenberger: Stay in School
  5. Blair Underwood: Substance Abuse
  6. Deborah Norville: Peer Pressure
  7. Robert Stack: Drinking & Driving
  8. Dawnn Lewis: Teen Pregnancy
  9. Malcolm-Jamal Warner: Stay in School
  10. Ann Jillian: Designated Driver
  11. Marsha Warfield: Substance Abuse
  12. John Ratzenberger: Teacher Tribute
  13. Tempestt Bledsoe: Teacher Tribute
  14. Blair Underwood: Peer Pressure
  15. Parker Stevenson: Stay in School


Phase 4 (1990): Ready to Learn
  1. Betty White, Richard Dysart: Be a Teacher
  2. Bill Cosby: Train Your Brain
  3. Jere Burns: Listen to Your Teacher
  4. Jill Eikenberry, Michael Tucker: Ready to Learn
  5. Scott Bakula: Many Hats
  6. Blair Underwood: Favorite Teacher
  7. Park Overall: Learn in Different Ways
  8. Richard Dysart: Invest in Your Child
  9. Charlie Schlatter: Stay in School
  10. Phylicia Rashad, Raven Symone: Childhood
  11. Blair Underwood: Diversity
  12. Jere Burns: Listen to your Kids
  13. Jimmy Smits: Listen to your Teacher
  14. Will Smith: Stay in School
  15. Miss America 1990: Stay in School
  16. Charlie Schlatter: Stay in School
  17. Richard Dysart: Invest in your Child
  18. Will Smith: Stay in School
  19. Betty White: Be a Teacher
  20. Scott Bakula: Thank a Teacher
  21. Betty White, Richard Dysart: Be a Teacher


Phase 11 (1995)
  1. Eriq LaSalle: Violence Prevention
  2. Jennifer Aniston: Education Appreciation
  3. David Schwimmer: Teacher Appreciation
  4. David Hyde Pierce: Parental Involvement
  5. Jonathan Silverman: Teacher Appreciation
  6. Leila Kenzle: Domestic Violence
  7. Julianna Margulies: Designated Driver
  8. David Schwimmer: Stay in School
  9. LL Cool J: Violence Prevention
  10. David Hyde Pierce: Stay in School
  11. Jonathan Silverman: Date Rape
  12. Lawrence Brothers: Violence Prevention
  13. Eriq LaSalle: Teacher Appreciation
  14. Jennifer Aniston: Rape
  15. Matt Lawrence: Homework Encouragement
  16. Steven Weber: Teacher Appreciation
  17. Gloria Reuben: Designated Driver
  18. Noah Wyle: Teacher Appreciation
  19. Julianna Margulies: Domestic Violence
  20. Lisa Kudrow: Teen Pregnancy
  21. LL Cool J: Drugs
  22. Leila Kenzle: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
  23. Ming-Na Wen: STDs
  24. Leeza Gibbons: Domestic Violence
  25. Joey Lawrence: Drugs
  26. Gloria Reuben: Date Rape
  27. Lisa Kudrow: STDs
  28. David Schwimmer: Teacher Appreciation
  29. Eriq LaSalle: Violence Prevention
  30. Jennifer Aniston: Stay in School
  31. Jonathan Silverman: Teacher Tribute
  32. LL Cool J: Stay in School
  33. Julianna Margulies: Designated Driver
  34. Lisa Kudrow: STDs
  35. Joey Lawrence: Drugs
  36. Noah Wyle: Stay in School
  37. Leila Kenzle: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
  38. Leeza Gibbons: Domestic Violence
  39. NBC Tag
  40. Music 1
  41. Music 2
  42. Music 3
  43. Music 4
  44. Music 5
  45. Music 6
  46. Music 7
  47. Music 8
  48. Music 9
  49. Music 10
  50. Music 11
  51. Music 12
  52. Music 13
  53. Music 14
  54. Music 15
  55. Music 16
  56. Music 17
  57. Music 18


Phase 12 (1996)
  1. Julianna Margulies: Drug Abuse
  2. Eriq LaSalle: Teacher Appreciation
  3. Jonathan Silverman: STDs
  4. Brooke Shields: Teacher Tribute
  5. Anthony Edwards: Reading
  6. Lea Thompson: Child Abuse
  7. Courtney Cox: Violence Prevention
  8. Eriq LaSalle: Drug Abuse
  9. Julianna Margulies: STDs
  10. Gloria Reuben: School Support
  11. Anthony Edwards: Teacher Appreciation
  12. Brooke Shields: Reading
  13. Jonathan Silverman: Drug & Alcohol Abuse
  14. Jane Leeves: Parental Involvement
  15. Jere Burns: Parental Involvement
  16. Lea Thompson: Teacher Appreciation
  17. Joseph Gordon-Levitt: Peer Pressure
  18. Marne Patterson: Drug & Alcohol Abuse
  19. Jonathan Silverman: Teacher Tribute
  20. Leeza Gibbons: School Support
  21. Jere Burns: Teen Encouragement
  22. Gloria Reuben: Teacher Recruitment
  23. Jane Leeves: Stay in School
  24. Benjamin Bratt: Violence Prevention
  25. Jonathan Silverman: Education Appreciation
  26. Julianna Margulies: STDs
  27. Eriq LaSalle: Teacher Appreciation
  28. Lea Thompson: Teacher Tribute
  29. Anthony Edwards: Reading
  30. Courtney Cox: Designated Driver
  31. Brooke Shields: Reading
  32. Eriq LaSalle: Drug Abuse
  33. Leeza Gibbons: School Support
  34. Jere Burns: Parental Involvement
  35. Jane Leeves: Parental Involvement

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Remember all those years ago, when local news programs actually had opening titles? Cheesy footage of camera men out in the streets, fuzzy film animation of the station logo chroma-keyed in, perhaps using state of the art Scanimate animation? Still photos of the news team? Those days are over. Now a news opening is only a few seconds, cut down to the bare minimum to squeeze in more "fork in the eye" stories and commercials.
For some bizarre reason, I have TV news themes littering my hard disk, so let's take a look at one particular station and how its theme has changed over a decade.
In what may be a standing record, Washington's WRC-TV 11pm news theme was a whopping 35 seconds long (inclusive of the station ID) in 1982.
The cheesy disco-era themes gave way to more orchestrated versions in the late 80s and early 90s, then made a swift turn toward, well, stock music crap in the mid 90s.
By 1994, the theme music for WRC news broadcasts was down to a pointless five seconds. It's been there ever since.

WRC News Themes Retrospective 1981-1994 [3:50]

More WRC-TV News Themes

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"Doctor in Distress" is a charity single that was produced back in 1985 when the series "Doctor Who" was taken off the air for 18 months in the UK. I remembered the song from back then when I was in the whole Dr. Who fandom culture.
Finally, today I found an MP3 version, evidently the only one extant. It's not nearly as good as I remembered it -- in fact, it's cringe-inducing. What's most astonishing about it is that Basia sings on it! The name of the "group" says it all: Who Cares?
Read more about "Doctor in Distress" and listen to the madness.

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Commissioner Gordon must have relatives here.

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A little Peacock action today.
NBC Artist Peacocks (video -- got Quicktime?)

And from way back: the beginning of Thursday's "Must See TV" lineup.

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That Madge is a class act.

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Is this George the senior trying to explain George the younger?

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This one from George H.W. Bush is just... creepy.
Then there's this one, where his inner grandmother comes to light.

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Remember the old Maryland Lottery song?

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Bush and Dukakis whip it out

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Mom's always shifting responsibility

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Like father, like son.

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This site is an archive of sound. Snippets and samples of sounds collected over the years for no apparently good reason.
It goes without saying that some - or most - of the sounds here are from sources that were originally copyrighted, so they are presented here only for personal use, as a historic record of popular culture in the 1970s, 80s, and 90s.

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Collections
WAVA Jingles
The More You Know

View complete archive

Recent Additions
- Ringtones: My Collection
- A West Wing Christmastime
- You’ve Got Post
- Something for Everyone on WETA
- PBS Pledge Music
- Sister Kate and The Nutt House
- Designing Women and Teddy Z
- Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow
- Are You Being Served, Sir?
- BBC One (2006)
- Three’s a Crowd
- BBC 1 Moving Idents
- C’mon Home!
- The More You Know
- WRC-TV News Themes
- Doctor in Distress
- The Library in Alexandria
- Proud as a Peacock
- Hi, I’m Madonna
- Explaining Dubya

The files presented here are for personal use only. This site is intended as a historic record of popular media and culture, and as such is not intended to infringe upon any copyrights which may be in force on these audio and video snippets.