I thought I was done but I guess I am not/ George Harrison
February 27, 2009
creeping in during the day, during shows, when I'd be having a conversation with a neighbor. It was maddening! Instantly covered
in a cold sweat that was wet and made me feel hot at the same time. Ugh.
But, the up side to all that was that I didn't seem to have any more periods. For months and months! Ah, that was so nice.
Now, all of sudden, they've started up again, and I feel so blue. I forgot how sad I get around my period. I start thinking
about all kinds of thing/people that I miss---riding horses, my grandparents, lots of thoughts about my friend, Caryl, and why
didn't I this, why didn't I that---and I think about dumb things I've done in my life, regrets I have, stupid things I wish I hadn't said.
Missing old boyfriends. Missing Illinois. Missing a pair of shoes I loved but never wore and gave away and wish I hadn't so I could
have passed them on to Lily or io. Wondering if I'll ever stop drinking coffee in the morning. Wishing I had time to call people and
sing them happy birthday...All kinds of goofy stuff takes up my
brain power. GO AWAY! Ay yi yi.
(So far in the above paragraph I sound like Lucinda Williams "didn't I this" and Rodney Crowell "things I wish I'd said". Ya just can't
forget a good lyric. Once it' s heard, it's stuck to ya like a tick.)
There are so many things to be happy about, don't get me wrong! I'm staying positive, here, it's just...sometimes the sky
is gorgeous, not a cloud to be seen, the air feels light and breezy, but inside a person's heart...well, you can just feel like crying.
That's what I should do. Is just go cry.
I guess that is the mystery of what makes us human---feelings...although, I have to disagree with myself because I KNOW my
dog has feelings. I am not personifying her, either.
Blah blah blah.
Say.....Here's some happiness I want to share!
First, iolana found out it was George Harrison's birthday! She had two yellow balloons. She made paper cards and wrote this on one of them, and
I shrunk it down on the copier so it wouldn't weigh the balloon down..we went outside, and her words flew up into space:
Happy Birthday
and thank you for giving us really good music!
I LOVE my guitar gently weeps.
I listened to it today on my dad's ipod.
I saved a beatle (bug) to-day and I also
wore my yellow submarine shirt
and I didn't know til my dad told me
it was your birthday
Thank you George Harrison
and happy birthday from,
io
Isn't that something else? How can I feel blue when such goodness is going on!?
And I spent time with my friend, Stacy, and we talked about marriage, children, life, what it means to be women and mothers...
And we held hands outside in the sunshine at Book People and I was thinking what a wonderful sister she is to have in my life.
And, last night, me, Lily and iolana went and babysat at our dear friends, Sharon and Steve's, house. We played with Daniel
and Jack: basketball, hide and go seek, we had dinner around the dinner table and had lots of good laughs over many silly
incidents/things said, met the neighbors, gave Daniel a bath...it was relaxing and silly and it's so fun to watch Lily and iolana
playing basketball while Jack raised the basket to court height and everyone was hilarious, trying to get the ball in and watching out
so no one got bonked on the head...Daniel was driving his giant toy car after putting a blanket over the top. It was a car cave, I guess.
And the neighbors came out, and they were all nice, and it was relaxing to sit on the driveway, watching kids hoot and holler, passing
the time away, just like when I was a kid in Houston, in Sharpstown, and the moms would come out and chat while we kids ran around, too,
and that was all special and wonderful and my period is just trying to ruin all the fun so I will embrace that I can make children, still, but
that I won't and, perhaps, I can just make myself laugh today, even if I start to cry. Cuz, after all, balance is what I'm seeking so if I'm going
to be happy, I am certainly allowed to have some blue times, too. Just different colors of the same woman.
posted by Sara Hickman at 08:58 am
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Morning spillage…words sounding like Woody coming outta me…
February 26, 2009
with a regulated agency to collect fees on behalf of what songwriters perforn during the concert. allegedly, these collected
monies would go into a pool to pay songwriters.
from what i understand of it, i think it sounds like a big mess is comin' our way. more restrictions and paperwork for small groups (house concert
folks) who aren't in the business of house concerts to make money but to promote music they love, and more headaches for songwriters
trying to make a living (having to write down/report what you sang). perhaps i would make a wee bit more money quarterly, but realistically,
that money would need to be tracked and followed with a fine tooth comb, and is a government bureaucracy really going to care about
who gets what money?
anyway. here's what came spilling out of me this morning on behalf of greg johnson, owner of the blue door,
who has always been in it for the artistry/love of songs/the people.
when they come and stop us with a legal hand
we'll just start playing in caves again
(where the birth of it all first began)
don't get me wrong, i understand
what's right is right, what's wrong is wrong
but can't a lady just sing her song...?
or do those with the least always have to be first
to start a movement, to take a stand?
to speak out by singing against the unseen "man"
i'm just one voice but i do what i can
as i ramble along
love,
sara
posted by Sara Hickman at 07:14 am
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My friend, David Roth, is comin’ to Texas! Go hear him sing, woncha?
February 25, 2009
he will move your heart, he has a rich, chocolatey-smooth voice. There. Now don't you want to call up a friend,
or ask your partner, "Let's go see David Roth! Sara says he's wonderful! Let's go!"
Thanks for supporting a fellow indie artist!
Love,
you know who
MARCH
4 Dallas, TX 7 PM ~ Unity of Dallas ~ http://www.unitydallas.org
5 Beaumont, TX 7 PM ~ Unity of Beaumont ~ http://www.unitybeaumont.org
6 Austin, TX 7 PM ~ Open Ears Coffeehouse ~ http://www.staopen.com/open_ears
7 Houston, TX 7:30 PM ~ UniTunes Coffeehouse ~ http://www.unitunes.org
8 Wylie, TX 6 PM ~ http://web.wt.net/~lsilas/concerts.html
for more information on David go to http://www.davidrothmusic.com
posted by Sara Hickman at 10:05 am
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!
searching
struggling
tumbling
for the words
Words that were pouring out of my mouth as I
dropped my eldest off at school
Looking at blinking lights
Taking a detour
This melody popped up in my head and
I could hear baritone saxaphones
I could hear black women wailing away
I could hear Zirkel on the bass
Rumbling, a fifth string a la Bubba Hernadez
Down in the depths of low
And I was tapping a wild rhythm on my coffee cup
WIth a green pen that should be purple
Because the casing is purple But Whatever
I drive past the convenience store
With the illicit videos of people bashing each
other in the head that makes me ALWAYS want to stop
And rush in and say to the owner,
"Couldn't you find anything with less blood?"
But I always keep on driving
Someone else can take up that battle
My plate is ridiculous...I know I know...
And I rush in the house
Lance is at the computer,
"It's coming! A song is coming!"
He doesn't turn his head looks straight ahead
But I see a smile, a slight tilt in his chin
I'm at the kitchen table, now
Settled in, bouncing, my guitar on my lap
Smelling Holly's flowers---wild cinnamon
amongst the green--
The flowers are covering me in the scent
of something tangible
I am scribbling furiously
And then...it stops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And here I am
With these damn saxa-ma-phones
Wrangling me, ceaselessly, in my mind
I'm in this corral with wild horses
Wanting Mick Jagger to slap my tongue
And release what is bursting to come out---
oh, I want to scream
These unseen words
When in creeps doubt and says
No way it's coming out
That Satanic bastard! That cheapskate! That fun
ruiner!...Damn you!
I think
I teach a class on this shit! How can you be stomping
in on my parade?
And so I ran in here
To blog-og-og OMG
I'm just going to write and write and
Not be uptight
Just keep that feeling insight
To brew and expand
When ka-blooey! IT will blow
And I'll next be on stage saying,
"Listen to THIS!"
And have something new
And loud
and outside
a
la
Gary
Nemec.
posted by Sara Hickman at 06:48 am
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My garden, race cars, Rodney Crowell, Mollie’s baby
February 17, 2009
She is glowing in her growing and I am knowing she is going to LOVE LOVE LOVE being a mom!
My garden: last week, playing in the dirt. Singing, smiling. Loving the onions, the brocolli,
the lettuce, the tomatoes, the flowers...my hands and fingernails covered in the rich hummus
of earth's winter soil, breaking and moving, holes filled with tiny roots/shoots/scooting along
on my knees.
Rodney Crowell: Sex and gasoline. A moving work of art. I want to write a song as a duet for
he and I and ask him to sing on my next cd. Will there be a next cd? We shall see!
Drawing race cars and electric guitars this morning. Coloring sheets for a twinset of 7 year
olds in D.C. I will be singing for this weekend.
Still giddy from singing with the Dallas Wind Symphony this weekend. Did it happen? Or
was it just a dream?
Trying to get songs to the Connextion for digital download. So much work to be done...ay yi yi!
Anybody need any Girl Scout cookies, by the way? We've got 'em! Last day is Feb. 21...so get me
your order ASAP!
Had a fabulous lunch yesterday with Bob & Jean Van Steenburg, Pat and Charlie (of El Paso) and Kristin
and Vicki of TCADP...Lily, Lance and iolana surprised me by taking me to the steps of our church, where
I was presented with a photo op on behalf of receiving a Proclamation from Mayor Will Wynn that this
Saturday, Feb. 21, the day Mollie's baby will be born!, will be Sara Hickman day in Austin, TX...and that
13th Street, right in front of our church's family life center, will be named Sara Hickman Way! After
the ceremony, which I will, sadly, miss (as I will be enjoying performing for little boys and handing out
race car/guitar coloring sheets!)...well, we get to keep the street sign! Woo-hoo...!!!!
So, lunch was a fabulous capper to an amazing weekend.
What started as a dream and became a reality...the Music for Life tour across Texas...included our first event on
October 3, 2007 at my home church...First United Methodist...and yesterday, to be treated to the surprise of what will be
transpiring on Saturday...full circle...the tour evolved into the dialogue I hoped it could become...and it will continue...and
I thank God for the idea and the introduction to TCADP's folks...all great people, working hard on behalf
of those imprisoned and their families...
Lastly, just me reiterate, because I don't think I've stated it enough, ever, here or there, that my husband is one helluva
human being. Let the records show that I know I've got it good and for anytimes I might be whiney, just stare me down
and I will know you read this blog entry about Lance, my prince, my friend, my husband extra ordinaire, and I will shut
up and look to the skies and smile my big ass grin and say, "Thank you, God, for this angel of a man."
Do not be sick with my words of sweetness! If you are gagging...I say...Stop tha!. Enjoy that love exists and people LIKE being married
and growing wrinkly together. Maybe this is you, too. Are you growing wrinkly with someone you love?
posted by Sara Hickman at 09:44 am
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